Life as Explained by Pac Man
It seems parallels of every day life can be drawn from nearly any source. I was surfing the intertubes recently when it hit me how very much like Pac Man the typical office situation has become. We work in a maze where reward is little, the perils quite perilous, and mean ghosts running around trying to kill us when all we’re trying to do is make it to the next aspirin or other generic pain reliever. So I’d like to illustrate my point, as seen in figure 1 of what can happen to you in this cruel, ibuprofen filled maze:
You see, you’ve always got a boss (or five) watching your back, for better or worse. And even though you may have just completed project x, you’ve got project y staring you in the face. All this leads to a low score, and there’s not a chance of getting another life. So what’s a round, yellow guy to do? Exercise superior strategery, as outlined below.
It is imperative that you do not allow managers to sneak up on you. They like to assign huge projects that seem small until analyzed by someone with experience. Utilize thermal sensors, low-jack, laser trip wires, espionage and manipulation, or, at the very least, mirrors. This will enable maximum efficiency of leisure, with minimal interruption. Use short wave radios, cell phones, etc. to keep your co-workers informed of managerial operations. Though it may seem like it, you’re not the only PacMan in the maze, and we’ve all got to stick together.
And, uh, what else is there? Fruit? Well that’s pretty obvious: Fruit is healthy, so eat it. And, uh… Oh, yeah! The pills are important, ’cause the more you eat the more points you get. But the Power Pills have to be saved until they are needed. This is tricky, because you often have to take advantage of the situations as they arise. But like favors, you might be able to save these for use in a moment when your boss catches you in the previously mentioned time of leisure. See? Useful.
In conclusion, following these simple rules will allow you to maximize enjoyment and point earnings while working for the Man, as the following graph clearly shows:
See? Proven, irreputable fact that shows I am right and office life is very much like Pac Man.