The Tao of Jace

It seems parallels of every day life can be drawn from nearly any source. I was surfing the intertubes recently when it hit me how very much like Pac Man the typical office situation has become. We work in a maze where reward is little, the perils quite perilous, and mean ghosts running around trying to kill us when all we’re trying to do is make it to the next aspirin or other generic pain reliever. So I’d like to illustrate my point, as seen in figure 1 of what can happen to you in this cruel, ibuprofen filled maze:

You see, you’ve always got a boss (or five) watching your back, for better or worse. And even though you may have just completed project x, you’ve got project y staring you in the face. All this leads to a low score, and there’s not a chance of getting another life. So what’s a round, yellow guy to do? Exercise superior strategery, as outlined below.

It is imperative that you do not allow managers to sneak up on you. They like to assign huge projects that seem small until analyzed by someone with experience. Utilize thermal sensors, low-jack, laser trip wires, espionage and manipulation, or, at the very least, mirrors. This will enable maximum efficiency of leisure, with minimal interruption. Use short wave radios, cell phones, etc. to keep your co-workers informed of managerial operations. Though it may seem like it, you’re not the only PacMan in the maze, and we’ve all got to stick together.

And, uh, what else is there? Fruit? Well that’s pretty obvious: Fruit is healthy, so eat it. And, uh… Oh, yeah! The pills are important, ’cause the more you eat the more points you get. But the Power Pills have to be saved until they are needed. This is tricky, because you often have to take advantage of the situations as they arise. But like favors, you might be able to save these for use in a moment when your boss catches you in the previously mentioned time of leisure. See? Useful.

In conclusion, following these simple rules will allow you to maximize enjoyment and point earnings while working for the Man, as the following graph clearly shows:

See? Proven, irreputable fact that shows I am right and office life is very much like Pac Man.

If you’re not interested in, or a fan of, the Harry Potter series, then just skip this post. This post is about what I think will happen in the final book. So if you’re not already up through the 6th book and don’t want any chance of spoilers, you too should skip this post.

Anyone still here? Good, this is just for posterity and to see how far off I am. I’m not doing some in depth study on the series, nor will I cite anything with reference numbers. These are just my thoughts and musings on what might happen. If you want all the reference numbers, you’re in the wrong place. So, what do I think will happen? Glad you asked.

Snape is good. Otherwise he would have captured Harry and taken him to Voldemort, instead of continuing to teach Harry the finer aspects of dueling and occlumency even as he left the school in something of a bother. The thing I think is most interesting regarding this character is that Harry has very often been told to call Snape Professor Snape. I think this is much more important than just a lesson in respect, but I’m not sure how. I’m pretty sure this will come into play in the next book. I also think it will be important to find out exactly how Snape prefers to handle dementors and why it’s not a patronus.

Hermione will die. No doubt there are plenty in the employ of Voldemort (Draco, Snape, spies) who will tell him that Hermione will be the most beneficial friend now in Harry’s life. Her intelligence and knowledge far surpass the majority of students in the school and are an oft-used crutch for Harry, one that he often takes as granted. Removing this crutch will further weaken Harry, and is definitely the step I would take if I were facing Harry and, of course, evil.

Hagrid will die, but he’ll take several with him. For much the same reason as mentioned above for Hermione, Hagrid has been a crutch and friend to Harry for far too long. Removing him would cause Harry further damage and remove a very strong protector. It’s a smart move on Voldemort’s part to remove as much protection from Harry as possible, and I’m pretty sure this will happen. But if he goes, I’m sure he will take a lot of people with him.

Harry will return to Hogwarts, even if it is for a relatively short time. I know this may not make sense, and it certainly isn’t provable, but Harry will learn a lot from Dumbledore this year through the pensieve. It seems likely that Dumbledore will have expected his death and left instructions for Harry on what needs to be discovered in the Dumbledore’s past. Things like how Dumbledore defeated Grindelwald, how to produce some of the advanced magic that made him the only wizard Voldemort ever feared, and maybe more information about where/what some of the horcruxes are. I’m also pretty sure that Flitwick will spend time teaching Harry how to duel. I can’t remember which book I read it in, but I’m sure that somewhere it says that Flitwick was once a dueling champion. His would be valuable experience to share with Harry and his friends on handling and defeating the death eaters.

Now for the big one, this one is just a gut feeling and I have no real proof to back it up, except for the new book’s cover art. Voldemort and Harry will both die. But they will have to battle in the afterlife, behind the Curtained Archway in the Department of Mysteries. Here, Voldemort will realize that by killing Harry’s support, he’s provided Harry with an army of people who love him who will help fight Voldemort in death. People like Harry’s parents, Dumbledore, Sirius and many more will come to Harry’s aid. Whoever wins this battle will be likely allowed to live by whoever controls the underworld (Hades? God? could be interesting to see this one), fulfilling the clause of the prophecy that neither can live while the other survives.

Now as for who or what RAB is? I think it could be a code, or it could be Regulus Black. If it’s a person, it’s most likely Regulus; but it was an interesting article that said it was a code, and it made several valid points that make me think this could be true. What are the other horcruxes? No idea, but these will be one of the most fun parts to find out in the coming weeks.

Well, at least that’s what I think. Anyone else have any theories?

edit: One question that just came to mind that I haven’t heard asked or answered: In Prisoner of Azkaban, why don’t Harry and Hermione show up on the Marauder’s map twice? Seems odd to me.

I saw two movies last Friday, and now feel compelled to warn you of the horrors that await you at your local cinema.

First of all, the new Harry Potter film sucks. I seriously want my money back, and if I hadn’t sat through the whole thing, hoping beyond hope that it would somehow start picking up the pace, I would ask for it. If you’re the type who doesn’t want a spoiler because you haven’t seen the atrocity/read the book, then consider this your spoiler alert.

In what could have been the best film of the series thus far, this adaptation was, at best, a piss-poor tribute. From incredible gaps in story line and paradoxes that don’t mesh with the books on any level (Umbridge gaining access to the room of requirement), to generally poor directing and cinematography, this movie is a waste of the time spent to produce and view it as well as film. I simply cannot describe how embarrassing it was to watch what should have been an astounding fight scene between a dozen wizards (two of whom are the most powerful wizards probably ever), and it was remarkably quick and repetitive. I can’t believe they did the exact same special effect as the last movie, and while it does open up some interesting twists in the plot of the saga, it’s something that didn’t happen in the book and felt like a last minute addition. These two scenes should have been allowed to play out for more than 5 minutes. All in all, it was an incredibly slow build up to an immensely dull resolution that didn’t really resolve much. The entire scene in Dumbledore’s office where he explains everything to Harry (in the book), gets completely scrapped for a few sentences. Kinda like a parting quote and a handshake. Do yourself a favor, skip the movie and head to Barnes and Noble for your own copy of the book.

That’s all for spoilers. But now, I feel that it’s time to say that this director should not be hired back for any future movies. Warner Brothers should do the fans of Harry Potter, and, in fact, the world, a favor and bring back Alfonso Cuaron to direct the remainder of the series. As his was the most compelling film, and the only decent adaptation (the first two were almost facsimiles of the books, and were, at best, mediocre in their directing; the fourth was nearly as much a waste as the fifth), he seems to be the only person qualified to finish the series as it should. Warner Brothers would also do well to note that true fans would be more than willing to sit through a three hour movie. It would make sense to edit for time if the fanbase wasn’t there, but as there are nearly 100 million copies of Deathly Hollows on preorder around the world, it’s not as if there won’t be a large crowd at the midnight showings. But that’s just my two cents.

As for the good movie I saw: Transformers. I have to say, I wasn’t expecting to like this movie. I figured it would just be a bunch of special effects linked together to make a 2.5 hour commercial. I wasn’t wrong, but it was just so damn cool I couldn’t help but love it. It is a very, very long GM commercial; but the special effects were so superbly executed, the action so up-front and frequent that I felt like the cartoon I watched with my brother when I was a kid was somehow brought to reality. There was never a minute where the effects got so fake (read: matrixy) it couldn’t be believed. It was an action-packed blockbuster with limited plot, decent acting, an astoundingly beautiful costar, and the film was just fun to watch.

So, anyone seen anything else recently? Looking forward to something coming out later this summer?

It seems rather difficult to find some spot on the internet that isn’t, in some way, commenting, i.e., bashing, the current Presidential administration. Today I read an interesting, and singularly well written, article accusing President Bush of many crimes. To clarify, I feel bashing is almost always inappropriate, and accusations are notoriously difficult to retract. It seems, though, an admonition would be not entirely out of line.

I was impressed by this article for many reasons. Go read the article, if you like. Firstly, the vast majority of articles crying for the resignation, impeachment or indictment of high ranking officials in this administration are of an incredibly low standard of writing. So much so, that it pains me to think that such ineloquent people are allowed to have any say in my government, even if their voice is limited to voting for representatives in said government. This article stands out as not only the best written article I’ve read calling for such action, but, in fact, the best written article I’ve read in quite a long time. I commend the author on his excellent diction and command of the English language. It is proof that what you are saying is of equal importance to how it is said. This is one of the first articles I’ve read on the situation that hasn’t immediately put me off because of an immediate display of harsh bias.

Secondly, the article is well presented and makes several viable points, which I’ll leave to you to discover.

I’d like to take a moment now to say that I consider myself a moderate conservative. Conservative actions tend to better stimulate the economy, which translates to money in my bank. However, my views on several other factors, such as abortion, gay marriage, the state of health care in America and others tend to lean more towards the liberal side’s line of thinking. I am, more than anything, a deeply romantic person who believes that honour, honesty and nobility are high qualities toward which all should strive.

To address some of the major concerns facing America right now, I’d like firstly to share my views on the War in Iraq. There is no doubt in the mindset of the American public that this is certainly a war, though debates can rage on with whom this war is engaged. The Constitution states very clearly that only Congress can declare a State of War. It is obvious to me that the administration clearly overstepped their boundaries and responsibilities defined in the Constitution.

Now, that being said, I believe we are honour-bound to remain in the countries we’ve invaded, despite the probability of our country being coerced and deceived into the invasion of Iraq. It would be incredibly poor form to leave those countries in a worse state than we entered. However, I believe that we should allow the people of those countries to rule themselves in whatever way the deem best, regardless of the end result. We should not remove a system of government only to replace it with one that is sympathetic to America if that will cause civil war within said country. Rather, it is our responsibility to display an America that the world will want to follow; an America that Afghanistan and Iraq would not hate. I understand that we are reaping from the actions of previous administrations inability to hold their word, that we abandoned Mr. bin Laden after helping him. We are certain to face the consequences of our decisions, but that does not excuse the current generation from acting with honour. It is our duty to hold fast to the promises we’ve made, just as it is to ensure the safety of the people in Iraq and Afghanistan, regardless of their political decisions afterward. If we can regain and maintain the honour and prestige held by our country in the past, then America will not fail at any venture it pursues.

Additionally, it seems that a large - or at least largely vocal - group of people are calling for the resignation, impeachment or otherwise removal of the President and Vice President. I am grossly under-qualified to say that these men deserve removal from office. I am not, however, so unqualified to refrain from saying that they have engaged is some very dishonourable acts. Mr. Libby was found to have committed several felonious crimes, and is required to pay the price for his actions. If he was directed to engage in criminal activity, it is important that his conspirators and accomplices be brought to justice. To excuse a man from the consequences of such crimes is remarkably unfair to the others who have also committed these crimes, and to do so without the advice of the other departments of government, seems to me, underhanded and unjust.

I wish that our country could regain the prestige, the great honour, the esteemed glory that we once held before all the world. We have a truly great heritage that speaks volumes of what American ingenuity, compassion and strength can do. It is our noble duty to govern ourselves, and our responsibility to govern those who govern us. The nobility, honour and gentleness of our founding fathers, our past Presidents, and the countless other great men and women of America would be an immensely valued addition to the conscience and character of our governance.

I want to make it clear, that I support my President. His leadership has been strong and he has helped guide our country through a difficult time, and for this I am grateful. But deceit and dishonour are not excusable. It would be unpatriotic, unjust and ignoble of me and, in fact, our country to fail in holding his administration to the high standards to which we have held so many former Presidents’. They have proven that such a standard is not impossible, but a noble and attainable goal.