The Tao of Jace

Many strange things are afoot at the Circle K. That’s Midland, by the way.

First of all, it seems we might end up with 4 seasons this year. Instead of the usual 2: from BLISTERINGLY HOT to ASS-HURTING FRIGID in a matter of hours. We’ve gone from 90s to 80s. To 70s, and now it’s in the 60s most of the day. If we get some decent snow this year, I swear to god I’ll get stock in coal and buy an old diesel gas guzzler. Global warming may not be so bad after all.

If you don’t think this is a big deal, then you’ve never seen an autumn in Midland. That’s because they’re usually like driving through Sand Springs (yes, it’s a real “town”): if you blink, you’ve already missed it. The trouble is, not many people in Midland have ever seen an autumn here. Kinda creepy.

Secondly, for some very strange reason, I’ve become particularly moody and extremely short-tempered with Mandy. Mandy and I have never had a real fight, we’ve never shouted at each other, we’ve hardly ever even had to raise our voices. Until very recently, we’ve been a picture of perfection. When asked what it is, I replied, “I don’t know, but whatever it is: I hate it.”

What scares me most is that with all the time we’re spending together (which is a LOT of time, let me re-iterate: A. LOT. of time*), it’s only a matter of time before that first fight. I’m sure we’ll make it through, that’s not what’s scary. What I’m afraid of is that I’ll say or do something completely asinine and she’ll never have the same level of respect and love for me; that I’ll cross that line that I’ve done with so many people so many times and I’ll never get back to the right side of her love. So until that first fight, I’ll just have to remember Christmas, and hot apple cider whenever the heaviness comes. Anything to keep me from losing my temper and making my own nightmares come true.

*(just to be clear, the time we spend together is great, really great. but it’s any spare minute we have. kind of the same amount of time some people spend playing World of Warcraft, using their blackberry, or smoking crack.)